This week received my copy of this year’s ‘The Stony Thursday Book: a collection of contemporary poetry’ in which my poem ‘Thank You for Holding’ appears. It’s a light-hearted (or black-humoured) look at the danger of being buried alive and a suggestion as to how such an uncomfortable end might be averted. It also tries to have a go at the inanities one has to endure when making a simple telephone query to commercial or government offices. I particularly detest the way some firms try to sell you stuff before they connect you to the required orifice. And all this delivered by automated voice, which leaves you unable to cut them short! I didn’t get around to this in ‘Thank You for Holding’, so I think I may have material for another poem. Thank you for reading this blog entry. Your hit is very important to me.
THANK YOU FOR HOLDING
Because statistics tell me
that you’ll see me out, my love,
I would be much obliged
if you would grant me this
one last request: Before
the lid is fastened, please
insert between my prayerful fingers
and my rosary beads
my mobile phone
and please make sure
that for the next few days, at least,
(a) in credit,
(b) fully charged,
(c) turned on, and not
(d) buried at the bottom of your handbag
where it is liable to dial out during
a search for car-keys, spectacles,
credit-cards, lipstick, and et cetera
you put aside your inconsolable grief
and give me a call. And
please be patient as I
may have some difficulty
in coming to the phone.
Thank you for holding.
Your call could be important to me.